What is Therapy Actually Like?

A Therapist's Honest Take

If you've never been in therapy before, the whole idea of sitting with someone you don't know, opening up and sharing some of your deepest thoughts and feelings can be utterly terrifying. I don't usually self-disclose, but I often tell clients in our opening sessions that I've felt nervous before every single therapy session I've ever had - the idea that we have no idea what might come up in a session I'm sure puts many many people off even signing up to this in the first place.

So before we've even decided we want sessions, we can make huge assumptions about what therapy is, what it might be like and what might happen to us if we go for it. There's lots to say on this, but here are three big things to consider as you engage with therapy, and consider working with me...

1. We work at your pace

I work integratively, which means I draw upon many different theories, techniques and philosophies in working with clients and tailoring these different ideas to your personal experience. At the foundation of my practice is the client-centred or person-centred modality. This means that I believe you are the expert of your life. Despite working with lots of different people (some of whom have had similar experiences, or bring similar feelings), each client I work with and will continue to work with, has their own unique frame of reference and lived experience.

I believe it is vital to work at a pace you set - this means you bring what you need to (consciously or unconsciously) to each session and I work with what you bring.

2. It's called therapeutic work for a reason

I find it really important to emphasise at the start of our work together that there is no magic formula to make everything in your life better and for you to have a huge moment of self-realisation. For the majority of people, therapy is an accompaniment to life, it's long-term and it requires lots of hard work. Although I have had training to facilitate this work, I sadly don't have any magic to make everything exactly as you'd like it. So, for some people they know exactly what they want to work on and how they might get there - they just need some guidance. Others know that they need long-term support and just a space to offload... Lots of people, however, aren't really sure what they want or how to get to where they want to be... this can lead to a lot of frustration and very quickly bring up whether therapy is "working".

Therapy works for different people in different ways, the most important thing is to be open to it and remember that your therapist can't make everything better for you - as blunt as this might sound and come across - it's your life and you have to put things into action that which you want changed.

3. Turning up, yet just being

Turning up - to sessions and to the ongoing reflective work, is what makes therapy "successful" for a lot of people. Using what we talk about in sessions, thinking about it, maybe putting things into action (if you're ready), coming back to the next session and processing some more, are the key steps to therapeutic change. Therapy takes honesty, humility, openness and tonnes of courage and perseverance.

Yet also, lets take the pressure OFF! Life is filled with lots and lots of doing - therapy can be an hour (50 minutes technically) of your week where you can find a pressure release valve, offload, unwind, sit in silence, or just unpack what's been happening for you. For those who would like to make therapy less goal orientated and more a part of their life week-in week-out, then the journey should be sustainable and liberating!

If you think this is for you - or it might be, then get in touch - click the button below - I would LOVE to hear from you.

Get in touch with David